Unoriginality
by EosAella
Summary: Uther's magic hating speeches. Sorcerer's Uther hating speeches. Frankly Merlin was getting bored with the unoriginality. Includes a little Bamf!Merlin and is verging on Crack!fic also a sort of Reveal!fic. No slash.


**So this just came to me one day and I haven't been able to let it go since :) let me know what you think!**

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><p>Unoriginality.<p>

That's what Merlin hated most about Uther's magic speeches. They were all the same!

Magic is evil. Sorcerers are evil. I am an amazingly fantastic sexy king and you should all worship the ground I walk on.

Un-or-iginal!

That's probably why he wasn't paying much attention to what was going on around him when the sorcerer (EVIL!) burst into the room.

Then came the next unoriginal thing.

"Uther Pendragon! You are a tyrant," it's been said, "you have murdered innocents," as many have pointed out in the past, "now you will pay with your kingdom and your life!" It's been done before.

The sorcerer raised his hand and forced everyone in the room to their knees.

At least Merlin assumed that was what he was doing because everyone fell to their knees. He didn't feel anything but decided to play along.

"I will make you suffer as I have suffered," and back to being unoriginal, "I will take those you love from you," hmm... Ok. Merlin might have to step in here, "I will take your kingdom as you took my land," because that's going to happen, "And then I will kill you." Now he was just repeating himself.

"How did you get past the guards?" poor naïve little Uther...

"You mean those goons standing outside in helmets? That was simple, I just rolled a coin down the corridor and they went chasing after it. One of them actually yelled 'ooh! shiny!'"

Merlin rolled his eyes at the guard's incompetence.

"Now, down to business." The sorcerer walked over to where Arthur was frozen in place. He drew a sword and pointed it at the prince's heart.

"Prepare to die Arthur Pendragon."

Right, time to move.

Merlin silently got to his feet and crept across the hall to the sorcerer. He tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned around he punched him in the face.

"You hit me." The sorcerer said stupidly from his place on the ground.

"Yes." Merlin nodded.

"...Why?"

"I would've thought that were obvious."

He received a blank look.

"You were pointing a sword at Arthur-I mean the Prince."

"And? As an evil sorcerer I am well within my rights to do so."

"Err no."

"Merlin how come you can stand up?" hissed Arthur.

"Yes, I was wondering that myself. That was powerful magic I used." said the sorcerer.

"Not really..." Merlin muttered, of course the magic didn't feel powerful to him.

"What?"

"I said the the spell must have missed me."

"But it can't have... The only reason would be if you... TRAITOR!"

The sorcerer lunged for Merlin who calmly stepped sideways and stuck out a foot causing him to fall flat on his face. A few of the knights whooped in appreciation.

"You stand there all high and mighty, but you are just like me aren't you?" the sorcerer stood up again much to many people's disappointment.

"I am nothing like you."

"Why do you do it? You could join me, have them all kneel at your feet."

Merlin raised his eyebrows, "So we're back to unoriginality are we?"

"What do you mean?"

"All the things you say! They're unoriginal and have been used by better people than you. Nimueh, Sigan, Morgause, Morgana, they all said similar things right before they either died or ran away."

"And yet I'm not dead." The sorcerer held out his arms.

"Yet." Merlin muttered. "Can I ask you something?"

"Err..."

"Are you a Druid?"

"No."

"Have you ever lived with Druids?"

"No."

"Do you know anything about them?"

"A little..."

"Do you know their prophecies?"

"Only the most famous."

"Well that makes this much simpler.

"Why?"

"Because now I can stop you just by pointing one teensy little thing out."

"Which is?"

"Arthur is the once and future king."

"And? You saying that isn't going to stop me. First of all you have no proof, second I don't exactly see his protector anywhere to stop me and third it's vey unlikely and rather ironic of destiny to make the son of such a tyrant the figure of legends."

"Absolutist, authoritarian, autocrat, despot, martinet, oppressor..."

"What?"

"You said Uther's a tyrant, everyone says tyrant! Why can't you use a different word for once?"

"Err... Moving on. I'm still continuing with my take over."

"Why? What would you do with a kingdom? Honestly?"

"Bring back magic. Duh."

"What? Like in the legends?"

"We've been through this, if it were Arthur then Emrys would be around."

"Who do you think I am? Why do you think I could resist your spell?"

The sorcerer's face drained of all colour - that was more like it!

"N-no. You're not - it can't be you."

"Why is it so hard to believe?" Merlin huffed, slightly offended.

"Well... Look at you."

"Gee thanks."

"Well you don't exactly look powerful..." He gestured to Merlin.

"What is going on?" Uther asked.

"Uther has no idea what's going on, more unoriginality." Merlin muttered and the sorcerer sniggered.

"Hey! You will show some respect when talking about your king boy!"

"Oh do shut up Uther." The sorcerer muttered and waved a hand in his direction effectively sealing his mouth shut.

"Hmm, that's handy." Merlin noted.

"Yeah, it was useful when I had three kids."

"Past tense?"

"Why do you think I want revenge?"

"Oh..."

"Yeah."

"So what happens now?"

"I kill you and then continue my plan."

"We've been through this it's not going to happen."

"Is."

"Isn't."

"Is."

"Isn't."

"Is."

"Isn't."

"Is."

"Is."

"Isn't."

"Ha!" Merlin shouted.

"Damnit." cursed the sorcerer.

"Would you two get on with it?" Yelled Lancelot.

"You know it's a shame." Merlin muttered.

"What is?" Asked the sorcerer.

"You're gifted. You've managed to wordlessly mute Uther and send a whole room of people to it's knees without breaking a sweat. You could've been great."

"I still will be."

"No you won't, because now I'll have to stop you."

The sorcerer ran out of patience and sent a medium sized fireball in his direction which Merlin deftly dodged.

"Oh yeah, now you can dodge things!" Arthur yelled, "What about in training?"

"Not now Arthur, I'm busy saving your life."

Whilst he had been distracted the sorcerer had levitated a knife over to where Gaius was stuck on the floor. Merlin noticed this in time though.

"Oh that's just plain sneaky." he said and made the dagger fly to the other side of the room and embed itself in the door.

"Sorcerer!" Yelled Arthur.

Merlin, the sorcerer, Lancelot and Gaius all looked at him.

"Are you really that slow?" Asked the sorcerer.

"To be fair it's already taken him three years." Merlin pointed out.

"This is the once and future king? That's worrying..."

"I know right."

"Oi!" Shouted Arthur but he was ignored as the proper battle was finally taking place.

The sorcerer sent another fireball at Merlin who effortlessly deflected it.

"Really? Fireballs? BE ORIGINAL!"

The sorcerer narrowed his eyes "Challenge accepted."

Then it began to rain inside.

Merlin laughed, "That's more like it!" He shouted whilst quickly dismissing the rain before and lightening could start.

"Would you fight back already? This is getting boring."

"You're right," Merlin agreed and looked thoughtful for a second.

"And remember, be original!" He encouraged.

Merlin smiled and then conjured a bunny rabbit.

"That's not very scary." The sorcerer dead panned.

That was before the rabbit jumped about five feet into the air and started attacking the sorcerer's neck, it's eyes bright red.

Without warning the doors burst open and four men ran in. One carried a golden egg shaped object. He pulled something out of the top of the object and said, "One, two, five!"

"Three my lord!" Another interrupted.

"Three!" Then he threw the object at the rabbit that was still attached to the sorcerer's neck.

There was a loud bang and when the smoke cleared the men were gone.

"I'll be honest," Said Merlin, "I wasn't expecting that."

He walked over to where the sorcerer was now lying covered in rabbit bits with a large wound in his neck that was quite obviously fatal. The sorcerer gestured for him to lean down and then whispered something in Merlin's ear.

"Really?" Merlin asked.

The sorcerer nodded before smiling and falling back. He was dead.

"What did he say?" Arthur asked as the room was released from the floor.

"He told me something that you probably won't like."

"Which is?"

"Your father's mouth will remain shut even though he's dead."

An enraged Uther stood up and made a rather angered noise. He was trying to shout for the guards but the sorcerer hadn't been lying.

He still couldn't open his mouth.


End file.
